Spread 'em More
by Muchacha
Summary: Innuendos of Haru and Kyou's relationship... or is there one? Do you have a perverted mind? Are you curious? Ch. 11- Kyou's caught Yuki in an orange wig. PWP.
1. Spread more, please

Spread More….or 'em. Or it. @_@  
  
Summary: Ugh…can't say or I'll give it away. Yes, it's one of those annoying innuendo joke-type things. You read it and go, "Oh my gosh!" and when you think you know what it is, it isn't. I think the rating should tell you, and this is a bit much. Too much hints!!  
  
Warning: Do you like HaruxKyou? Give it a shot anyway. I love you.   
  
Dedicated to more people who find this entertaining.  
  
G ½  
  
~~~~~  
  
"No!" Kyou yelled.  
  
"Just a little more…" Haru pouted.  
  
"No more for you! You've had enough," the redhead hissed.   
  
Haru rolled his eyes. "Kyou, you don't give enough. I'll need more to be satisfied."   
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Haru leaned in closer. "Just spread them," he whispered seductively. "I must have more."   
  
Kyou made a noise and jumped back from the younger boy in surprise, blushing. "Never! You're addicted." He scoffed.   
  
"Not as much as you if you won't just spread some more for me," the impatient male muttered.   
  
"It's my property! I can do whatever I want with it!" He started to close it…  
  
"I wonder if Yuki would spread it for me," whispered Haru. Kyou's eyes bugged out of their sockets. "Tohru would definitely say yes." The white-haired companion smirked confidently. The redhead jumped on him.  
  
"Don't you dare!" he snarled.  
  
"Then give it to me," Black Haru's husky voice echoed in Kyou's ears.  
  
"N-no. I…can't" The cat shuddered against the warm body of his cousin. He let out an involuntary moan and Black Haru sneered.  
  
"You're too sensitive, kitty-cat." The tip of Black Haru's tongue flicked across the other boy's nose briefly.   
  
"You pervert!" He pushed Black Haru away forcefully. "Just leave me alone! I'm too tired."  
  
"If you spread it for me, I swear we'll go to sleep after this. Promise."   
  
Kyou glared at him with all he had, then sighed in defeat. He handed Haru the marmalade jar.   
  
Haru smiled. "Kyou, you're a bit obsessive over this marmalade, aren't you?"  
  
Kyou scoffed. "Tohru gave it to me."  
  
"I see," he stated and turned silent. He spread more of the marmalade on his toast and ate it hungrily.   
  
"No need to be a pig," Kyou muttered in disgust.  
  
"I'm getting a midnight snack because I'm damn hungry, so I'll eat how I want," snarled Black Haru. Kyou sweat dropped.  
  
"I think I'll go back to…uh...bed. Later!" He turned to run away when Black Haru grabbed his night shirt roughly.   
  
"Not without me," he sneered.  
  
"You won't get lost," Kyou said exasperated.  
  
"Kitty-cat," Black Haru sang. He cupped Kyou's face and brought it close to his. "Let's have some fun tonight." He dragged a screeching Kyou away with him to the bedroom.   
  
~~~~  
  
I can't believe I wrote it, but there's the next chapter~ 


	2. Size matters!

Spread 'em More!…positive. ^_^  
  
Summary: Naughty minds read this fic. Haru has Kyou do him a favor fixing something.  
  
Warning: Hm….innuendo and HaruxKyou. Both are a good mix.  
  
To the reviews who encouraged me so much. *evil grin* I just think of other innuendo, no matter how stupid. *sigh* But I'm neglecting my true work. I'll try to improve.  
  
Ch. 2. The chapter that never was…'cause I didn't know that I'd be doing another.   
  
G.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"Kyou, are you okay with this?"  
  
"Whatever, Haru, just shut up."  
  
Kyou covered it with his mouth and continued to blow. Haru smirked and couldn't help the moan escape his mouth. It pleasured him to just see the aggressive boy like this. Kyou looked up at him, puzzled.   
  
"What's your problem?" he asked impatiently.  
  
"Oh," he said, "nothing." Kyou rolled his eyes and continued blowing, his warm mouth surrounding the stiff length.   
  
"Wait, Kyou, you can't suck--" but Haru gasped as it exploded and stained the other boy's mouth. Kyou spat and hissed.  
  
"It tastes disgusting!" He wiped the back of his hand vigorously over his mouth. His younger cousin just chuckled and handed him his shirt. Kyou swiftly took it and presumed to get the horrible fluid out his mouth and practically scratched his tongue off in the process.   
  
"It's so nasty," he murmured.  
  
"You're so used to sucking, it couldn't be helped," Haru laughed at cat's adorable display of frustration.  
  
"Shut up, Haru," he snarled. The other boy only stuck out his tongue. "Fine. I'm not doing you favors any more."  
  
The cow pouted playfully and moved away from Kyou, who continued talking. "And I don't know why you care about it so much. It's so…dinky."  
  
"Dinky?"   
  
"Yes, as in-- small." Haru laughed gaily.  
  
"It's not the size that matters, but how you use it," and he winked. The redhead blushed. "Besides, I think it's cute."  
  
"Oh!" Kyou raised his arms in exasperation. "You think that small thing of yours is cute? Next thing I know, you'll think Tohru is cute."  
  
"Well, she is."  
  
Kyou simply scowled angrily at the innocent expression placed on his companion's face.  
  
"I give up," he muttered.  
  
"Fine," Haru said. "Give it to me."  
  
Kyou moved closer and gave it to him. He watched as the other boy wrote with it and nodded.   
  
"It works," Haru stated. "Thanks for your help, Kyou," and he smiled. "It's my favorite pen."  
  
"Yea, well…you better be grateful!" He scoffed. "I probably won't get this ink out of my mouth for days. If your pen hadn't been so stupid and spilled on me…"   
  
"I was telling you not to suck."   
  
Kyou yawned and sat down next to the attractive male. Yes-- he admitted his cousin was attractive in a way; a way definitely different from his girly cousin, Yuki.   
  
Haru watched him while he mused, and Kyou saw the funny look on his face.   
  
"Wipe that smirk off your damn face," he yelled, embarrassed.   
  
Haru didn't stop, and pulled Kyou to him in an embrace. He kissed the top of his head and sighed.   
  
"You need to relax." There was an odd glint in his eyes that made Kyou alert and sweat-dropped. "You're too tense."  
  
From the other room, Tohru heard odd noises and guessed that the only reasonable answer was that Kyou picked another fight with Haru. She immediately stood up and was determined to stop it.  
  
She shouldn't have done that, though. In Kyou's room, she had no idea how wrong she was.  
  
~~~~~  
  
TBC? 


	3. Age of Perversion with Ayame

Spread 'em More  
  
Summary: Chibi Haru and Kyou.  
  
Warning: Innuendo, HaruxKyou…Ayame?   
  
What was I thinking writing the last chapter!?! It was bad, because Kyou blowing on a pen? I mean, c'mon! If you don't get it, I used to blow in the pens of my gelli rolls if the ink wasn't coming out. Forgive me for writing that.  
  
I'll try writing more perversion with other characters. Ayame will appear. ~_^ Should this be about jokes, or yaoi? Because people don't like yaoi. And coming up with more jokes won't make it as funny. It'll be ruined! So short stories including innuendo and HaruxKyou.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Kyou and Haru at age nine and eight…  
  
"Kyou-kun, Kyou-kun!" Chibi Haru called.  
  
"What is it, Haru?" Kyou's day didn't go well at all. First, Yuki beat him longer and harder than usual during the family picnic. The family was big, and the reunion was noisy to him and the food was distasteful. That's when he met Kagura, but she had changed because she constantly followed him and grabbed him so much times he lost count. He used to like playing with her, but now she beat him for the littlest things such as playing with Kisa. He knew he shouldn't have come.   
  
He stopped and waited for Haru to catch up. His younger cousin practically skipped up to him.  
  
"Check this out!" Haru eagerly pulled down his pants. He smiled proudly when he heard his older cousin's gasp.  
  
"What did you do to yourself?" His eyes were wide as he gaped.  
  
  
  
"Ayame-san played with me."  
  
"Ayame?! Yuki's brother," Kyou said, outraged. "You let that pervert touch you? He's a freaking fruit!"  
  
"Oi! Don't tease Ayame-san. He said girls like this."  
  
Kyou reached his hand out to touch it but Haru stepped back cautiously.  
  
"I don't think you should touch it yet, Kyou-kun," he murmured. "It's pretty swollen."  
  
"Yea," Kyou whistled. "It's huge. Does it feel weird?" Did he sound curious?  
  
"Well…" Haru hesitated. "I guess you can touch it."  
  
Kyou met Haru's gaze and nodded. He moved closer and his fingers hovered over it. Finally, he held it in a caress and touched it softly.  
  
"That tickles," giggled Haru. "I like how you're petting it, Kyou-kun."  
  
Without warning, Kyou pinched it. Haru yelped and jumped back.  
  
"You baka! That hurt," he complained, and nursed it gently.   
  
Kyou scowled and tried to grab Haru again but failed when he tripped over a stone, fell on Haru, and they both landed on the grass.   
  
"Ow," moaned Haru. "Get off. You're hurting it."  
  
Kyou looked down and saw his elbow was right in Haru's sensitive spot. Both boys stood up and brushed themselves off. That's when Hatori called for Haru and said they were leaving.   
  
Haru walked away, but Kyou shouted to him something he was dying to know.  
  
"Did it hurt to get that tattoo on your thigh?"  
  
Haru glanced at him over his shoulder and smiled. "Yes, it did, but since it's the tattoo of an orange cat, I didn't cry as much."  
  
Eight years later…  
  
  
  
"Haru, put something on! You'll scare the kids!"  
  
"But Kyou, I'm wearing something," he smirked, "a Speedo."  
  
"I don't care! That tattoo on your thigh makes you look fruity!"  
  
Haru shrugged flirtatiously and dived back into the pool.  
  
Kyou felt it was hard.   
  
~~~~~  
  
Next chapter. Reviews are good. ^_~ 


	4. Fit it in there

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Summary: Haru can't do it alone, so Kyou helps him.   
  
Warning: The summary sounds perverted enough…   
  
I just saw the sad Fruits Basket music video from Marshmellow God Productions about Kyou's other transformation and yadda. There was no Haru in it! o Like I expected him to be in it…*sigh* That's why I'm determined to write this fic with HaruxKyou. There are other great fics I've read…hope they update soon. Let me just say, to me, the part of the episode with Tohru was corny.   
  
Anyway…  
  
~~~~~   
  
"I'm glad you decided to do this with me, Kyou."  
  
  
  
Kyou hesitated and looked up at Haru. "I'm not doing this for pleasure."  
  
The younger teen looked down at his older cousin. "Then why are you with me?"  
  
Kyou tried to hide his fury. "Because you asked me, you idiot!"  
  
"Then if I asked you to let Yuki join us--"  
  
"I'd say 'hell no'," finished Kyou. "You know I don't like that rat! And I wouldn't let him near you."   
  
"Is it because you love me?"  
  
Smack. "NO! You'll molest him."   
  
"You're being insensible, kitty," Haru pouted.  
  
"You mean you don't want to see Yuki on his hands and knees like this?" Kyou mocked-gasp.   
  
"I'm actually enjoying you right now," Haru licked his lips.  
  
"That's what freaks me out." Kyou turned away, still crouched on his hands and knees. "I think we ought to get this done and over with."   
  
"What's the hurry?"  
  
"I want to wake up early to shower," he muttered. Haru practically jumped Kyou there and then and try to persuade him to take a shower NOW, so that he can see Kyou's naked body, wet and water running down his sleek…  
  
"Just tell me what to do, dumb cow!" Kyou said intolerantly.  
  
"Oh?" Haru inquired. "So you want to be in control now? I think I was the one who was in charge."  
  
"Well, I have to do something, you dumbass."   
  
"Fine." Haru settled next to Kyou tightly. "Take it like that."  
  
"Like this?" Kyou demonstrated.  
  
"Yes," he sighed. "And stick it in there," he pointed.  
  
"In there?"  
  
"Yes," he nodded. "And hurry. I'm getting cramped here."   
  
"Alright!" Kyou shoved it into the hole mostly in impatience.  
  
"Be careful," Haru commanded. "I don't want you to break it. You're supposed to help, not make it worse."  
  
"It's stuck a bit," Kyou groaned. "Should I twist it?"  
  
"Of course, Kyou!"   
  
"Hey! Don't get pissed at me!"   
  
Kyou twisted it until it was perfectly fit in the small hole. "That was easier than I thought," he said.  
  
"Helping me put a new screw in the coffee table is easy, but if someone like you doesn't know how to use a screw driver…then they should take lessons from me," Black Haru sneered.  
  
"If you make those sneers too much you'll get wrinkles, and I hope you do soon," Kyou muttered. He stood up and stretched his arms way over his head. Of course, that left Black to gaze longingly at his tan abdomen. Kyou noticed this, and gave an annoyed sigh.  
  
"Haru, I said I wanted to wake up early. We can't do that tonight."   
  
"C'mon, kitty," Black Haru snaked an arm around Kyou's waist. "It'll take less than an hour. It'll be over before you know it."  
  
"It better be," Kyou quipped. "I hate you making me do one hundred sit ups each night. My back aches thanks to you!"   
  
"Well, we both benefit from it."   
  
"Why the hell do you care?!" Kyou blushed.   
  
Black Haru tightened his hold on the thin waist. "Your abdomen looks gorgeous in the shimmer of the moonlight, right after we make love, rising and falling when you pant, the sweat making it even more erotic, and I love to feel it. Do I need to say more?"  
  
The drops of blood that made its way down Kyou's nostril was an enough 'no'.   
  
~~~~~  
  
Hm…the ending was nice. ^_^ TBC? Review, please~! I'm thinking about  
  
1) Should there be more innuendo, perverse…wrongness   
  
2) Little tidbits and more on HaruxKyou  
  
3) More focus on a nice and HEALTHY relationship of Haru and Kyou  
  
Number three sounds actually nice…but maybe some other fic. I like the idea of making Kyou actually show love to Haru, since all he's doing his pushing the guy away… 


	5. Ayame, stop influencing Haru

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Summary: Kyou finds Ayame with Haru! What's he gonna do?   
  
Warning: Innuendo (yea) and HaruxKyou. Ayame being fruity.   
  
Disclaimer: Yea, I don't own the characters. There should be more Kyou and Haru action.  
  
Hm. The update took long because I'm not satisfied with it, but I'm giving it to you anyway! Try harder…  
  
On with the story.   
  
~~~~~   
  
"Ayame-san," breathed Haru. "That was incredible."  
  
"What can I say," Ayame mused. "I'm an expert on this." He tossed his hair over his shoulder and sighed blissfully.  
  
Haru rolled onto his side to face the older man. "Please don't tell Kyou about this. He usually prides himself in doing this with me, and if he finds out about us…well, he'd skin us alive." He chuckled at the thought.   
  
"I see what you mean," Ayame laughed with him. "I don't blame him though. To have your trustworthy lover break that trust…" he cupped Haru's face sweetly in his hands. "I'd hate to cause you both any arguments."   
  
Haru nodded and continued to lay with Ayame.  
  
Then the door broke open. A very tousled and infuriated Kyou stormed in.  
  
Haru was beyond shock while Ayame smirked casually.  
  
"It's about time he arrived," Ayame whispered.  
  
"Get out!" Kyou erupted furiously. "Haru would never seek pleasure in a fruit like you!"   
  
"You underestimate the power of my fruitiness, Kyoukichi-kun," Ayame winked. "I provided him with something you couldn't at the time." He walked to Kyou from the bed he'd laid down on, laid down on his HIS bed, with…Haru. Kyou seethed. He was blinded by rage, and hardly saw the hand Ayame held out in front of him. "No hard feelings?"   
  
"You bastard," he growled. "Don't come anywhere near Haru again."  
  
"Kyoukichi-kun, it was Haru who asked me for company, anyway." He sneered.  
  
"Then don't do it in my room!" Kyou glanced at the hand in front of him, still expected to be shaken in amends. A forced smile twitched on his lips and he took the hand in his own.  
  
"Accept my apology?" Ayame asked.   
  
"Okay," Kyou said through gritted teeth and grabbed the snake's hand. A nasty crunch echoed from their hands.  
  
"Ouch!" Ayame nursed his broken hand soothingly. "Don't be so brutal, Kyoukichi-kun."  
  
"Get out," Kyou hissed in a low voice. Ayame did, after he blew a kiss at Haru. When the door was closed (more like fell apart because it was broken), Kyou sprang from where he stood and pounced on Haru in the bed.  
  
"You dumb cow!" he gripped Haru's shoulders. "Only I can read you bedtime stories!" Kyou had him trapped under him.   
  
Haru winced at Kyou's loud voice. Their faces were close, so he pecked Kyou innocently on the cheek. "Forgive me, kitten. I thought you were too busy to read to me."  
  
"That's a dumb excuse," Kyou said. "Besides, I tell better stories than him."   
  
Haru smiled. He had wrapped his arms around Kyou's neck and brought the other closer. Kyou laid on top of Haru without crushing him with his weight. His head rested on Haru's shoulder, snug.  
  
"I just wanted to make you jealous," murmured Haru. "You've been paying Yuki a lot of attention lately, more than I ever did."  
  
"Is that your problem?" Kyou asked in disbelief and resentment. "You'd think I'd actually like Yuki? He bores me. All we ever do is fight lately." He nipped on Haru's ear lobe and received a deep moan.   
  
Still angry, Kyou pulled back.   
  
"I'm tired," he said. "Go to sleep."  
  
"But, Kyou…" pouted Haru. He suddenly found himself pushed over the bed and on the floor.  
  
"Sleep there," ordered Kyou. "You need to be punished for what you did and your nasty mind for thinking I'd leave you for Yuki."  
  
Haru cursed all through the night. 'Just wait till tomorrow,' Black Haru laughed in his evil dark head.   
  
~~~~~  
  
TBC…A little kid told them to shut up when my friends were singing "If you're happy and you know it…"  
  
  
  
Sigh. I hope the story isn't getting too dramatic for the two. I think the main thing is humor…so I must be becoming dull. 


	6. Don't Poke me sung to the tune of U Can'...

Yes! Spread 'em More!  
  
Summary: Kyou is still afraid of being poked and Haru gives him a taste of it.   
  
Warning: Trust me, it's not as bad as the summary sounds. PG!   
  
Disclaimer: Property of a lady who didn't draw enough HaruxKyou.   
  
I did this at the top of my head. I wanted a chapter involving curse words… but this is rated PG. How can people live without lemons… Maybe in future chapters.   
  
~~~~~  
  
"Cocks are big-headed."  
  
Milk sputtered from Kyou's mouth faster than lightening. Haru stood beside him and was quick enough to duck. Unfortunately, Yuki, who sat by the table doing God knows what, was soaked by it. He stormed out in a huff, leaving Kyou with Haru.  
  
Kyou looked at Haru with wide eyes and mouth hanging open. It took some time for him to gain enough composure and still be angry.  
  
"Wh-what are you talking about, you dumb cow?!" He wiped the milk from his mouth while glaring at Haru.  
  
Haru smiled lazily. "I was just thinking how the roosters outside make so much noise. I try to get my beauty sleep."  
  
Kyou rolled his eyes and groaned in annoyance. "I swear, you say the dumbest things." He walked to the fridge to place the milk carton back. Haru made himself comfortable sitting by the table and motioned for Kyou to sit with him. Hesitantly, the other obliged. He sat down next to the younger teen, but was pulled into his lap instead.  
  
Haru nuzzled his face behind Kyou's head and kissed the back of his neck several times. Meanwhile, Kyou squirmed uncomfortably in his lap.  
  
"Haru," Kyou hissed, "there's something poking me in the arse."  
  
Haru frowned and held Kyou's waist tightly to prevent the redhead from moving away. "Now, it's not what you think kitty."   
  
Kyou snorted. "It feels suspiciously like--"  
  
"I know," Haru sighed. "I was hoping to save this for later, but…"  
  
Black Haru ruthlessly threw Kyou onto his back and pinned him down under him.  
  
"I can't wait any longer," he growled huskily.  
  
He took it out slowly, just for some suspense. He gained pleasure from seeing the expression of fear on the other boy's face. When he finally stuck it in Kyou with a swift motion, he received a strangled cry. Kyou bucked viciously and hissed at Black Haru, rage and pain evident in his blazing eyes.  
  
"Why here," he shouted. "Why now!?" He struggled under Black Haru, but looked weak compared to the taller boy. "When I wake up, I'll kill you!"   
  
"Kyou," whispered Black Haru, "you're overreacting. What I'm giving you will help you feel better."  
  
Kyou didn't seem to be listening. He didn't cease his struggling and didn't appreciate Black Haru leaning his face closer to his and capturing his lips. He cried and moaned into the other's mouth just to aggravate him, but he figured by the way Black Haru became more desperate in his kissing was because the jerk enjoyed the sounds he made. When he needed a breath, he tore his lips from Black Haru's and looked away.  
  
"I hate you like this," he spat, flustered.  
  
"You're just saying that," Black Haru said, his tone malicious.   
  
"You have no idea." Kyou smirked at Black Haru's uneasiness.  
  
"I only gave it to you because you needed it!" He cupped Kyou's face in his hands to look directly into those amber eyes.  
  
Kyou looked at Haru with innocent confusion. "If you're worried about the noisy cocks keeping me up," he gave Haru a sweet kiss on the cheek, "they don't keep me up as much as you do at night."  
  
Haru still stared back into Kyou's eyes with surprise, but smiled. Kyou was adorable because he was blushing, obviously embarrassed about what he just said. The other boy still gazed sternly into the grey eyes.  
  
"So you're not mad at me for giving you a shot?"  
  
Kyou shook his head. "I'll forgive you this time. You know I don't like needles."  
  
"I didn't know that," murmured Haru. "The medicine was to help you sleep at night. I'm worried about you," he said sincerely.  
  
Kyou blushed but still yelled at Haru. "Then next time give me a pill!" He pushed Haru off of him and sat up. Haru's stare unnerved him, though. There was something very needy about those beady grey eyes. Puppy-eyes…oh no. Kyou stood up and shuffled away. "I'll rest alone in my bedroom."  
  
Without thinking, Haru grabbed Kyou's ankle and the older boy lost balance. He landed on the floor with his hands and knees before he could've let himself fall completely on the younger boy. Haru seemed to be delighted in this position. He wrapped his legs around the thin waist, bringing Kyou closer.  
  
Then Shigure walked in and slowly made his way to the fridge, taking out an apple, and walked back out, not even glancing at Kyou or Haru.  
  
Kyou sweat-dropped and Haru blinked.  
  
Like a typhoon, Shigure came back with a video camera in hand.  
  
"You can continue," he said excitedly. "I'm just going to give a copy of this to Aya~!"  
  
As to be expected, Shigure was plummeted by a flying table thrown by a rampaging Kyou.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Is it weird for boys to gossip about soap operas?   
  
The story seemed to be filled with drama in the middle. I just don't think people can really be funny if they're getting a shot. _ Hope Kyou didn't seem too OOC. 


	7. Bite harder on this ordinary day

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Summary: Kyou is in control, and orders Haru to bite it!! This may be longer than the other chapters.   
  
Warning: Hm…innuendo, Yuki gone crazy, Kyou trying to be cunning, and an innocent Haru. The couple is a no-brainer…  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are Natsuki Takaya's; the conspiracy is mine.  
  
The prank for the pranksters  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Bite it."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Kyou, I've already bitten it."  
  
"Then bite it again!"  
  
"It's too hard."  
  
"Bite it harder…!"   
  
"I don't want to hurt--"  
  
"Haru!" Kyou yelled frantically.  
  
"I think I've had enough, Kyou. You should quit this, too."   
  
"No. I'm not leaving until you bite it!"  
  
Haru let out on exhausted breath. "Isn't putting it in my mouth enough for you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But I sucked, also."  
  
"More!"  
  
"And licked."  
  
"I don't care," Kyou said. "Even I can do that. Remember, you owe me favors. You don't know how humiliating it was to do all that other stuff for you!"  
  
"Kyou, maybe doing this in Yuki's room wasn't such a good idea," Haru pointed out.  
  
"I'd like to see his face when he comes in here," sneered Kyou.  
  
"Kyou," Haru said in a warning tone of voice.  
  
"Alright! We'll do it in the bathroom," Kyou said impatiently. He took Haru's hand and practically ran to the bathroom in a hurry. They had to duck and swerve a corner when they saw Yuki walking to his room. Kyou pushed Haru into the bathroom first and shut the door. He barricaded it with all the toilet paper he could find under the sink, making sure no one could interrupt them.   
  
"Now we can finish it," Kyou said hopefully.  
  
"But Yuki's room…" Haru mentioned.  
  
"What about that rat's room?"  
  
"You forgot to clean up our mess."  
  
Kyou slapped a hand over his forehead. Their mess! He entirely forgot to clean it up during his haste to get out of there!   
  
"Damnit," he cursed. "That rat will see it and know we were--"  
  
He was cut short by a shriek. Yuki. He couldn't blame the damn rat for making such a big deal out of the mess- but did he really have to scream horribly like a girl? Kyou glanced at Haru and saw the bored expression. Didn't that dumb cow know what Yuki could possibly do once he found them?  
  
"We have to get rid of the evidence," Haru's calm voice brought Kyou back.  
  
"You sound like an idiot," Kyou hissed, "you dumb-- hey!"  
  
Haru bit the jawbreaker, creating a loud crunch. Kyou winched, and hoped the teen didn't break any teeth. He knew that thing was tough. They had tried to smash it with a hammer, but it only put a dent on the table. It would've been easier if the dumb cow had actually transformed into a cow then bitten it.   
  
"Here." Haru handed him some of the smaller pieces. Kyou took it and chewed and sucked until nothing was left. He wasn't eating it for himself, but to cause Yuki distress. It all started on Halloween…  
  
They'd all received some candy. Trick-or-treating wasn't something Kyou did, so he just shopped for candy. The next day, Kyou had already finished it all, except for the chocolate he gave to Haru. But it's been a week and Yuki still had his share. He'd saved most of it, but what he really liked to save for last was the jawbreaker. Kyou knew this because that damn rat practically shoved the candy in his face and pranced triumphantly about how he was better than him at everything and blah, blah, blah. Kyou wasn't listening to him after that.   
  
Kyou came up with the sinister idea of revenge on that damn rat and his godforsaken candy. With Haru, they snuck into Yuki's room intent and finding the prized candy. They searched for the jawbreaker high and low, and finally found it under the pillow. Kyou would have never thought to look there. Haru wouldn't have found it if he wasn't suggesting that they do other "things" on the bed.  
  
But when they found it, Kyou demanded that they get rid of it immediately. That was the whole plan- to destroy the jawbreaker and Yuki's heart all at once! When the rat found it missing, he'd be all shaken up, and Kyou wouldn't have to put up with his conceited ways any longer!   
  
They tried breaking it in the beginning, but Haru thought that would be wasteful. The only way to dispose it properly would be to eat it. So here they were, in their current screwed situation.  
  
Haru was rubbing his sore mouth after he chewed the remains of the lethal candy. "I don't think I'll be able to use my mouth in our nightly activities for a while."  
  
"Shut up, idiot," snapped Kyou. He put his ear to the door, after shoving toilet paper out of the way, and listened carefully for any signs of Yuki coming in a tremendous storm down the halls. So far, he heard nothing. "What's taking Yuki so long?"  
  
"Maybe he's sad, not angry," Haru whispered solemnly. "We may have hurt him deeply, taking away his jawbreaker…Kyou, I feel bad."   
  
"You dumb cow," hissed Kyou. "Don't show sympathy for the enemy!"  
  
"I showed sympathy for you all these years," Haru murmured. Kyou went rigid but ignored it.  
  
"Sssh!" He prepared to open the bathroom door, after tossing all the toilet paper aside, and took a brave step out. He held his breath, and motioned for Haru to come out with him. Another step, when--  
  
"I have you now, gato estúpido!" Yuki tackled Kyou to the ground. His eyes were glowing madly and he was foaming from the mouth disturbingly.   
  
"Ah! It's hideous!" Kyou looked away and tried not to breathe.   
  
"Yuki," Haru finally spoke, "since when did you use Spanish?"  
  
"Haru!" Kyou shouted angrily. "Can't you see I'm being mauled by Yuki?! You can talk about his Spanish lessons later!" He tried to claw his way from the clutches of the deformed Yuki.   
  
Yuki changed back to his original state we all know and love, smirking down at Kyou. "You'll be more than mauled by me. Something worse awaits you…" He chuckled sinisterly. Kyou cowered and tried to slip from his grasp. Yuki stood up and continued to cackle like a maniac and he kept Kyou is a strong chokehold. The redhead hissed and cried out.  
  
"Haru, don't just stand there," he glared for all his worth. "Help me!"   
  
"Haru can't help you, baka neko," said Yuki. "He told me all about this. You fell for your own prank."  
  
"Then why not have stopped me before we ate your precious jawbreaker?!"   
  
There was a silence.   
  
"Actually, I didn't have time to meet you because Ms. Honda and I were--"  
  
"I don't want to hear your love stories about Tohru!" Kyou finally kicked Yuki in his precious area and ran away as fast as he could; not before grabbing Haru and dragging the poor cow along. Kyou ran out the house and across the garden, jumped a few fences, and made it to the busy street. Haru continued to race along with him and Kyou heard his tired breaths.  
  
"Kyou," Haru panted, "where are we going, dear?"  
  
Kyou eventually halted and spun around furiously to face Haru.   
  
"What I want to know is why you ratted me out to that rat." He pushed Haru away. "You don't have to tell me. I bet you still like him." Let's face it- he was definitely pouting, whether he knew it or not.   
  
Haru chuckled. "I did it for us."  
  
"Sounds like one of those clichéd movies…"  
  
"No!" Haru grabbed Kyou's hands between his own. "I mean I did it because Yuki promised he would get us reservations to a hotel room up town."  
  
Kyou eyed Haru up and down. "You mean in the end, it's all about getting me to bed?"   
  
"You can say that," Black Haru smiled, which wasn't a nice smile. Just sexy. Kyou looked away to prevent himself from falling on his hands and knees and begging they go to the hotel now.  
  
"I don't see why Yuki would go through the trouble and do this for us when we ate his jawbreaker," Kyou said.  
  
Haru didn't say anything until they were back at the house. "We should start packing," he said cheerfully. "The sooner we leave, the better."  
  
"You got that right," Kyou scoffed.  
  
They left, not bothering to notice that the house was dark and only lit with candles.   
  
On the table, was a finely cooked meal and glasses filled with champagne.   
  
"How do you like this, Ms. Honda?" Yuki smiled at Tohru as they walked in.  
  
"It's really nice, Yuki," blushed Tohru. "I'm sorry I couldn't cook for you tonight."  
  
"It's no problem." Yuki ushered Tohru to sit down and sat himself.   
  
"It's too bad Kyou and Haru couldn't join us," Tohru said.   
  
Yuki grinned. "They won't be here for a while." He took a sip from his champagne. "I'm afraid they've gone to stay at a hotel. Shigure is at Ayame's. We're here…all alone." He hinted with a glint in his eyes. Tohru nodded absently, still not comprehending what he meant.   
  
Elsewhere, a couple made noises all night.  
  
~~~~~  
  
..no, not Shigure and Ayame. This is HaruxKyou   
  
Too long because I feel happy about a day off thanks to the holiday~!   
  
You may like HaruxKyou, but if you hate YukixTohru, I'm just adding that to put another unbelievable romance in the mix. Maybe Kagura should come in soon… 


	8. Does it taste good? Yummy

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Summary: Kyou and Haru are trying out something new to fulfill needs.  
  
Warning: Innuendo, HaruxKyou and Kyou pounding on poor Haru.  
  
Sometimes, there are stories that are not funny, but annoying. I shall seek the problem of this one. I hope it's not too cheesy. Yummy.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Oh, that looks really good," Black Haru's deep voice rumbled next to Kyou's ear.  
  
"It'll taste good, too, if you do this right," Kyou smirked.  
  
"You sure are acting naughty," the ox licked his lips and gazed hungrily at the redhead.   
  
"Really? I think I'm better at this than you," the cat teased.   
  
"I can teach you this and more," Black Haru sultrily whispered.  
  
"You wish." Kyou didn't want to admit that maybe Haru was pleasing him in doing a good job of it.   
  
"But you like what I'm doing," Black Haru teased back. Kyou looked at him questioningly. 'What; did that cow actually read my mind? Or was it how hard it's gotten…' Kyou coughed in embarrassment and kneaded it, feeling that it was fairly rough.  
  
"You're ruining it." Black Haru gently shaped it in his own hands. "You should pound it a bit more."  
  
"And you know what you're doing?" Kyou asked sarcastically .  
  
"I read the book."  
  
"What book?" Kyou eyed him with suspicion.  
  
"A book Shigure gave me to help us," Black Haru grinned. "It shows what to do at times like this, including pictures on the positions to put--"  
  
"I know what I'm doing," Kyou said disdainfully.  
  
Black Haru shrugged languidly and licked his fingers.   
  
"Hey! Don't you know what you're doing? And now you're licking it off your fingers!" Kyou said with repulsion. "It's unsanitary, not to mention disgusting! I'm not letting you near it now."  
  
"Why not? You want to lick my fingers for me?" He pressed a finger to Kyou's moist pink lips. "I don't think you know were its been," he smirked. Kyou pushed him away with his own equally dirty hands.  
  
"Go wash them!" He ordered.  
  
"Okay, as long as you don't do anything exciting without me," he winked.  
  
"It'll be done by the time you get yourself cleaned up." Kyou added.  
  
Black Haru quickly ran to get a cloth, not wanting to miss out on the action. Kyou was busy hurriedly banging on it. Both were in a panic, running back and forth.  
  
"Where's the long thing!" Kyou murmured to himself. He was going to finish this before Haru came back. It was a little childish to compete in this race of who would finish first, but it'd show that idiot he was better than him. Kyou thought, paranoid to get done.  
  
"Here." Black Haru handed it to Kyou. The cat's expression turned to wide astonishment, but wiped it off his face with a deep frown.   
  
"Whatever." He grabbed it from Black Haru, ignoring the other's chuckling.   
  
After a few moments, Kyou used it wisely. "I think that's all for the preparation time." He wiped the sweat from his brow.  
  
"I'll get it greased and put it in there for you," Black Haru kissed his companion's cheek quickly and greased it thoroughly. He placed it in and Kyou sighed with relief.  
  
"You did well," Kyou finally admitted with small mockery. "Even with the help of Shigure's book."  
  
"I'd never disappoint you," the taller teen pouted, "but I wish you could've let me taste it before we put it in the oven."  
  
"You should wait until it's ready, you dumb cow."   
  
"But cookie dough is good!" Black Haru exclaimed with maybe too much exaggeration.   
  
"We're supposed to be making these cookies for Tohru and the rat prince, idiot. We shouldn't be eating it," Kyou stated. "Plus, I hate chocolate."  
  
Black Haru deviously wrapped his arms around Kyou from behind. "I bet I can change your mind. There are many uses for chocolate."  
  
"You've been reading Shigure's other books, haven't you?"  
  
"I wasn't even trying to look for a cook book in the beginning, kitty," the deep voice confessed with no innocence. He laughed mirthfully before slapping Kyou's ass. He continued to laugh at the wonderful blush he received. "You really are cute, sex kitten."  
  
Kyou's face was redder than his hair and his lips closed in a tight line. He wasn't going to shout any profanity, he wasn't go to react to it; no. Instead, he slowly counted to ten…  
  
Just then, Momiji, Yuki, and Tohru were loudly chatting about something they'd seen on television.  
  
"I can't believe you watched it for a full minute!" Momiji giggled.  
  
"I-I-I couldn't h-help it!" Tohru's voice strained as she blushed with shame.   
  
"But why does this house even have a channel like that!" chirped the younger boy as he skipped ahead of them to the kitchen. "You said it yourself! The men's naked bodies were enormous! And that's not all." Momiji roared with giddy laughter.  
  
"Momiji, Tohru couldn't help looking at that. She was too shocked to change that channel," Yuki said.  
  
"Bad excuse," Momiji playfully stuck out his tongue. "And you were with her in that room." It was Yuki's turn to look shameful.   
  
The conversation and laughter abruptly stopped when they entered the kitchen. The three fell dead silent and expression's shocked. Kyou held Haru's head under water of the sink while the teen's arms waved wildly and legs kicking in vain. He was proclaiming angrily if Haru still wanted to *censored* and *censored some more* in the godforsaken kitchen of all places. If Haru could only hear him, he'd probably answer 'bring in the lube and futon'.  
  
"We should leave them," Yuki murmured. "Lover's quarrel."   
  
~~~~~   
  
Ah…help me. 


	9. All fun and and games, until you get cau...

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Summary: Naughty games are what Haru wants to play with Kyou.  
  
Warning: Innuendo and screaming  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing but the bad stuff. (writing)   
  
First off, complete rawness…sorry for any grammar errors. Looking back at the chapters for a bit, I slapped myself at the grammar. *bad Muchacha* But these small chappies are for entertainment and quick humor to brighten peoples' days! Lord knows Muchacha needs some.  
  
Oh. My complete slowness is due to…ugh...phases! Yea!…Muchacha has a bit of a drawing phase right now, and when I'm too lazy to write this, I'd draw comics. ^_^;;; So, if the chapters seem so short or lazily written (you may see) it's because I prefer to cut to the chase. I'd rather draw it, but oh well. NO scanner.   
  
~~~~~  
  
"Lets do something fun, Kyou," purred Black Haru.  
  
"That's good," replied Kyou dryly, "because all we ever do is argue or make out."  
  
"I'm going to ignore that," pouted the horny teenager.  
  
"I'm not going to ignore your hand down my pants!" Kyou snarled.  
  
"You're right," Black Haru removed his hand without shame. "I'll need my hand for the other…game."  
  
"Game?" Kyou regarded Black Haru with curiosity. "What kind of game?" And curiosity killed the cat.  
  
"This one!" Black Haru held it proudly.  
  
"…You can't be serious."  
  
"Play with me, kitten," Black Haru whined. Of course, this wasn't a baby's whine, but a pout made with bedroom eyes and a deep, lustful voice. Kyou twitched. Damn that cow.   
  
"No way!" he shouted. "It's too humiliating. If someone walked in…"  
  
"It's not so bad," Black Haru waved his gloved hand dismissingly. "Every other guy I know has tried it."  
  
"Play with them, then!" Kyou seethed. He cursed when he thought how obviously jealous he had sounded.   
  
"But I want this opportunity to play with my pussy," Black Haru winked.  
  
"Sick fuck," Kyou muttered inaudibly.  
  
"What was that?" Black Haru asked.  
  
"I said 'shut up'." Kyou blushed. He realized if he mentioned 'fuck' to Black Haru, the baka ushi would get the wrong ideas. He shook his head, trying to get the disturbing, but also pleasing, images out of his mind. 'His perverseness is rubbing on me.'   
  
Black Haru looked at Kyou with worry. "Is something wrong with your head, kitten?" He held Kyou's chin with a gentle hand and had the other caressing the red locks.  
  
"I-I'm fine!" Kyou stammered. Black Haru being anything but gentle was normal, but this was weird.   
  
"Will you play with me then?" smirked Black Haru.   
  
"I will, but I'm going to regret it." Kyou moaned with dread.  
  
"Not if I can make you beg for more," said Black Haru with a clever tone of voice. He let go of Kyou and flexed his fingers professionally. "This'll take some time to get started," he winked. Kyou glared at him with a "Will you hurry up for god's sake" look.  
  
Black Haru finished setting it up. "All done!"   
  
Kyou's involuntarily screamed when it started. "H-Haru, is this some kind of cheap porn we're watching?!"  
  
"Of course not!" he exclaimed. "It's only half of it."  
  
Kyou collapsed. "You freaky pervert!"  
  
"You can't blame my hormones," grinned Black Haru.   
  
"I don't want to play these slutty girls," growled Kyou. But Black Haru ignored him and gazed intensely at the screen.   
  
"Woah. Look at that one move," he whispered in awe.  
  
"Don't tell me you're drooling over this!"  
  
  
  
"You're right, again…" Black Haru stated. "…I've seen you naked countless times to actually be turned on by this stuff."  
  
  
  
Kyou's anger meter was rising and reaching its peak. His face boiled and steam could've been coming out. He let out exhales of breath to calm himself and clenched his fists tightly. This would all seem serious, if it wasn't for the distracting noises in the background.   
  
  
  
"Ah!"  
  
"Uh!"  
  
"Turn down the volume," Kyou hissed, his face more heated and embarrassed.  
  
"Sounds make it interesting, don't you think?" Black Haru smiled smugly as Kyou fret.  
  
"Don't blame me if Shigure comes in to watch this crap!"  
  
"He's seen this play before," Black Haru continued to smile mischievously. "And Momiji, Yuki, and Tohru."  
  
"Tohru?!" Kyou didn't want to believe it. "Tohru's watched this!"   
  
"Didn't think she'd actually play it herself," chuckled Black Haru.  
  
Kyou would've slapped him, but kept his hands busy. "Oi! I can't get this dumb girl to move the way I want," he complained with frustration.  
  
"She should start in that position," Haru pointed.  
  
"She keeps on making those hentai sounds." Kyou congratulated himself for saying that without having to blush.  
  
"She's not going to do what you don't want her to do when you're controlling her."  
  
"I want to choose a different girl," Kyou said, attempting to ignore Haru's innuendo.  
  
"This one's fine to me," he said. "You should get the feel of her."  
  
"I'd rather choose the bitch with white hair." Kyou remarkably said that casually.  
  
"Kyou," Black Haru ginned, "I didn't know my beautiful hair color had an affect on you."  
  
"Idiot!" Kyou said. "She's the only one without a squeaky voice."  
  
"Mataka…"  
  
"And she curses, too," Kyou sneered.  
  
"I can curse also," Black Haru licked his lips. He forced his attention to the screen and watched as the girls jumped and fell while creating "disturbing" noises. "Hey, I can probably make them fall on top of each other," he waggled his eyebrows. "What do you think, Kyou? Lesbians are interesting…"  
  
"You dumbass," Kyou finally let out. "This game isn't about sex! It's about playing volleyball!"  
  
"Just trying to get us riled up for tonight," Black Haru defended smugly. "Why did you think we're playing Dead or Alive for?"  
  
"Because these girls playing volleyball in skimpy bikinis and making weird noises with their high pitched voices entertains you while it pisses me off!"  
  
"It's a good game, ne?" Black Haru scored another point for his team, defeating Kyou's. "I win."  
  
"I suck at dumb video games," Kyou complained and tossed his Game Cube controller away.   
  
"Poor loser," teased Black Haru. "Admit that I'm better!"  
  
"I admit that you're perverted," Kyou replied in annoyance. He was tackled by an overpowering Black Haru smirking down on him.  
  
"You're right. I'll show you just how perverted I am…" He whispered and ducked his head in the crook of Kyou's long tan neck. He chuckled as he licked and then sucked on the sensitive skin.  
  
  
  
"Get off!" Kyou kicked him in the stomach, but it wasn't too forceful because of his uncomfortable position on his back and being trapped by Black Haru's body on top of him. "Stop it, you masochist!"  
  
"I haven't even brought out the duct tape yet." Black Haru moved his lips down the nape of smooth neck and started to pull open Kyou's shirt at the collar, allowing more bare skin to come in contact with his eager tongue. "I'm too excited to stop now," he whispered huskily. He ran his tongue across the uncovered chest while his hands were about done madly undoing the button and zipper to his own pants.  
  
"Ack!" Kyou's own voice sounded squeaky. "Haru, this is the living room! We can't-- not here," he exclaimed.  
  
"Damnit," growled Black Haru. "If you keep using that excuse, you'll regret never making love sooner when you're older." He stopped his sexual actions and looked into Kyou's eyes seriously.  
  
"I want you," moaned Kyou, finally giving in.  
  
"Then lets do this." Black Haru moved his hands to Kyou's pants.  
  
"Hatsuharu Sohma," interrupted a calm voice, "not another move, mister."  
  
Black Haru cursed and turned around to look and see Hatori standing at the door way with a grinning Shigure. Yuki and Tohru stood speechless while Momiji giggled.   
  
"Ha-san's here to pick you up, Haru," Shigure sang. "Before you rape Kyou-chan."  
  
Kyou's face flushed crimson and he stammered, "All-- you-- of all-- you all-- saw--"  
  
"Yes, we saw it all," Shigure winked. Kyou's head exploded with reasons to kill the dog slowly with lots of pain.  
  
"Wow, Kyou-kun," Momiji gushed. "I didn't think you'd be such an uke!" 'My life is ruined,' Kyou raged. He glared at Haru to see what the cow would do next.   
  
"Of course I'm more dominant," Haru explained. "He'd do anything because he's so submissive. Once, he dressed in a maid's outfit, pantyhose included, and let me take a dozen pictures of that."  
  
Everybody watched as Kyou punched himself unconscious. It was just too much for the poor thing…  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review time~!!  
  
pluto kiss: Of course cookie dough tastes great~!! Why wouldn't it? Yum yum. I'm glad to know you like this story. You might not be THAT addicted, but I still find that flattering. Sankyuu!  
  
  
  
Hikari Rioki: The "Ah help me" at the end was because I'm obviously in a crisis about this story. *giggle* But I'll take your nice luck, hopefully it'll help! And the story is to trick people. o^_^o   
  
jill4: So, you're anxious about Kagura showing up? *insane laughter* Don't worry, I'm TRYING to put her in it sometime, but I just love HaruxKyou too much~!!   
  
Polka Dot: It's okay to stretch things. ^_^ Not to mention my back; I'm slouching in this computer chair. Owies…  
  
crystal: I'm insane about HaruxKyou!! My fic posted on a nice site? But this story is so plotless. Lol. I've been to viva la kyouke, and I gotta say it's beautiful! I just want to stare at the Kyou picture in the background all day… 


	10. Too Tight! Haru can fix that

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Summary: …it's innuendo. Yay! Kyou's too tight for it. Haru's by his side to help.   
  
Warning: This is shorter than lately. Good 'ol innuendo!   
  
Why did I write this without a draft? This idea just came to my head. This is an example of a "super short and dull innuendo chapter"! Wah! (…I'm listening to Naruto music…yea. Evil, evil, Kabuto…)   
  
_~_~_~  
  
"Uh! Too much…Haru," screamed Kyou.  
  
"No, it's perfect," Haru smiled affectionately.  
  
"Can't you see straight?! I'm tightening here!"   
  
"Yes," murmured Haru, "Now that I feel it, it's pretty tight."  
  
"Yea! And really hard on me," accused Kyou.   
  
Haru nodded. "I can almost feel your pain," he smiled innocently.  
  
"Pain?! You have no idea…"  
  
"You're supposed to be enjoying this," snickered Haru.   
  
"How can I enjoy this!" Kyou said. "I'm practically being tortured. And stop touching me!" He slapped the pale hand away.  
  
"I'm just trying to help," Haru informed.  
  
"Help my ass," growled Kyou. "You just want a piece of it!"  
  
"No, Kyou, now's not a time to be abusing it. It's nice on you, actually."   
  
Kyou's face heated instantly. "It's that nice?" He asked timidly.  
  
"Yes," smiled Haru.   
  
"There's something wrong with this, though…"  
  
"Come here," Haru said. He placed his hands on Kyou's waist and turned him around so that he got a good look at the redhead's backside. "Mind if I take a look?"  
  
Kyou shook his head. "Just do it. We have to get ready soon."   
  
"Yea, for the party," growled Haru in irritation. He let is hand travel down Kyou's back. "Spread your legs"  
  
"I'm hoping you're not going to do what you usually do," hissed Kyou.  
  
"No. I'm checking to make sure it's not hurting you. You could be too tight for it."  
  
"Don't you mean it's too tight for me?"  
  
"Whatever," Haru said. He put a hand between Kyou's thighs.  
  
"HARU!"   
  
"You mean it's not tight around there," questioned Haru, oblivious to the glares Kyou gave him.  
  
"It's fine down there, you idiot! It's the waist!"  
  
"The waist is too tight?" Kyou nodded. Haru took out the measuring tape and measured the slim waist. "You're right. You can't be that thin," he chuckled. "And you're so used to baggier clothes."  
  
"Just help me out of this dress," moaned Kyou.   
  
"Didn't I say it looks nice on you?" Haru smirked.   
  
"It's humiliating," mumbled Kyou. "Thank God nobody but you has seen me in it." He unzipped the back and tugged a few times before he could finally pull it over his head. "Next time, Ayame can find someone else to try on his goddamned dresses!" He threw the pink laced garment on the bed.  
  
"I was hoping you'd wear that to the party," chuckled Haru. Kyou sent him a scowl.   
  
"Wear that?" He yelled. "I can't move in it!"  
  
"It can fit Kisa then," smiled Haru. He picked up the dress and folded it neatly. "We'll give it to her before the party. Ayame will love to see she's wearing it."   
  
"That damn fruit must have wanted me to wear it," snarled Kyou. "I'll pound him for even thinking that!"  
  
"No need to get violent, Kyou-chan," purred Haru. "Nice thong, too. I don't remember getting those for you." Kyou blushed and turned away to take off the underwear.   
  
"Here!" He tossed it to Haru, getting him right in the face. "Ayame gave it to me to wear under that dress. Now that I'm not wearing the dress, I don't have to wear that!"  
  
"Should I give the thong to Yuki then," Haru winked. "Say it was a present from Tohru?"   
  
Kyou smile deviously. "Great idea! Let's do that," he chuckled eagerly. "Oh, and another thing…"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm naked! Turn around, for Christ's sake!"  
  
_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
Being naked among each other was never a problem for the Soumas…*sigh* I remember Haru walking around naked and Kyou yelling at him… Okay, maybe that wasn't yaoi in the anime, but not bad.  
  
TBC!   
  
Review:  
  
pluto kiss: Well, I can't see Haru uke, so Kyou's uke, no matter how much it doesn't seem right. I mean, I can picture Kyou seme… *blink* KH? I always see RikuxSora fanart and haven't played it. I don't know Riku…so judging by size ( There I go again. I'm so judgmental.) he seems uke. Just when I said height and age don't matter…sigh.   
  
  
  
Hikari Rioki: *hug* Sorry to make you worry~! I suck at writing yaoi. Must have more jokes…  
  
Jo: Yaoi is great, but maybe not everyone likes it….*weeps* We'll show em! Yaoi is delicious!!   
  
Yue's Lady: Just taking a break from the innuendo!… Okay, I'm really out ideas! *sob*  
  
Some stories will be innuendo or shorts. If it really freaks everyone out, this was only mild yaoi.   
  
jill4: Serious fic…Lemme see next chapter! But…*sniffle* I'm not good at writing lemons. I'm good at thinking them up, though. o^_^o   
  
Kyonkyon: Nice name…(when I typed it on MS Word, it immediately replaced it with kinky). ^_^ Sankyuu for the reviews. For you, okay~!! I'll focus on the relationship between Haru and Kyou… That's gonna be tough.   
  
Polka dot: I admire Shuichi to be so cute and still want Yuki to rape him. Lol. Maybe not that much… but it's funny to see a little pain come from it. I'll ease down on the masochism, though. *insane laughter* 


	11. Dump the chump because you think he's ch...

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Summary: Is Haru being unfaithful to Kyou?  
  
Warning: Language, lover's quarrel, romance, bitchy Kyou.   
  
Disclaimer! Yes. I don't own the characters.  
  
Oh, the horror!…I think the writing is turning bad. Heh. I'm not good and writing complicated things. I'm so mixed up!! This was written…maybe because I was thinking about HaruxKyou haters.   
  
And yes, this is a romance chapter. *gasp*   
  
And any grammar errors…ugh…my bad.   
  
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Kyou came into his room and saw Haru with a book in his lap sitting on his bed. He'd just fought with Yuki, and obviously lost, and was pissed off enough to throw the baka ushi off the bed and weep his eyes out. It wouldn't be like him to cry, but he was exhausted from Yuki beating him at everything. He only made a fool of himself when he said he'd beat the dirty rat someday.   
  
That day seemed impossible. Oh boy, here comes the depression. He should take some medicine from Hatori…   
  
"Kyou." Haru's soft-spoken voice turned his attention to the teenager still seated on his bed. "Sit with me." He pat the spot beside him with a pale hand.  
  
At that warm, loving smile, Kyou felt his own lips twitch up anxiously. He walked over and sat closely to Haru.  
  
  
  
"What're you looking at," Kyou asked as he leaned in closer and glanced and the pictures scattered in Haru lap.  
  
"I'm sorting the photo album," Haru beamed.   
  
"You have a photo album?"  
  
Haru nodded eagerly and shoved the book to Kyou. Kyou grumbled and raised an eyebrow at the title in large bold letters on the front. 'MY KITTEN and our LOVE LIFE.'  
  
"What the hell," Kyou shuddered. "That's the corniest thing I've read. I bet Shigure wrote that for you."  
  
"No," Haru shook his head. "If I was Black when I thought of the title, I would've said 'BEHIND the SCENES of the KINKY SEX between the future PORN STARS'."   
  
  
  
"Asshole," muttered Kyou, scowling at the innocent face Haru put on. Kyou flipped through the pages with photos in them, his eyes skimming, when his eyes widened and jaws dropped. "That picture--!"  
  
Haru looked over his shoulder and peaked. "That picture of you in the kimono during the festival? I really loved that time," he sighed blissfully, "especially when we snuck into the bathroom and I found out you weren't wearing anything underneath it."  
  
Kyou tried to ignore the hungry stare Haru was giving him. "You dense cow! This one with Yuki in an orange wig!"  
  
"Oh, you weren't supposed to see that one." Haru made an attempt to snatch it away, but Kyou proved to be quicker and held it out of reach. "If you wanted that photo, you can have it."  
  
Kyou yelled profanity and kicked Haru off the bed. "I'm trying to figure out why this picture of Yuki wearing a wig was ever taken!"  
  
"If you want to get physical," Black Haru said seductively, "shouldn't I be on the bed, too?"  
  
"Shut up!" Kyou sent a flying kick to the ushi's face, knocking his younger cousin backwards. "Explain this!" He held the object in question in front of Black Haru's face, his leer menacing.  
  
Haru stared seriously into those amber depths and realized he'd have to tell it straight. Sighing, he sat up and rubbed his aching face. "I was lonely," he stated flatly. "You weren't here, because of that after school detention. Remember that day?"  
  
Kyou nodded, still keeping his angry face. "Yuki threw a pencil at me, but when I threw the desk, it hit the teacher instead."  
  
Haru winced. "Yea… you need to work on hand-eye coordination. Back to what I was explaining; I waited here for you. After a while, I needed to use the bathroom--"  
  
"Let me guess," Kyou said dryly, "you got lost."  
  
"I'm not that directionally impaired, sweetie," Haru frowned.  
  
"Right, directionally impaired," Kyou remarked carelessly. "And how does that make Yuki put on a wig?''  
  
"I discovered I was alone in the house," Haru explained, "except for Yuki. I accidentally found him in Tohru's room…"  
  
Kyou snorted. "I wonder what he was doing in there."  
  
"Going through her things," Haru said casually. "I remember finding wigs in Tohru's room. Yuki tried some on-- we were only fooling around-- but when he put on the redhead wig, I was reminded of you…" he trailed off, "and then I'm sure I went Black." Haru inhaled uneasily. "I must have persuaded Yuki to try it on while I took… maybe a couple pictures."  
  
"That damn rat," Kyou hissed in jealousy.  
  
"No, it's not his fault," exclaimed Haru. "I'm sorry about my Black side doing that. It was wrong and I regret taking those pictures of Yuki, especially when he objected to the bondage."  
  
"Bondage?!" Kyou roared.  
  
"Yes," Haru said. "We found it in Shigure's room."  
  
"You all are freaks!" Kyou pointed a finger at Haru accusingly. "You, Yuki, Shigure-- I don't care if there's an affair going on!"  
  
Haru started to speak, but Kyou interrupted him before he could reply.  
  
"No! You know what," Kyou whispered, "we're through."  
  
"Through?" Haru asked in a disbelieved voice.  
  
"Yes. It's over."  
  
"Over…" echoed Haru.  
  
"Will you stop repeating me!" Kyou yelled. He stood up and avoided turning to Haru. "Bask in being single, Haru," he sneered. He walked away calmly and about to leave when Haru gripped his wrist tightly. "Wha--?!"  
  
"Don't go." His tone suggested he meant it as an order.   
  
"You think I'm going to listen to what my idiot ex says?" Kyou emphasized 'ex' and glared.  
  
"Tell me at least, why you just claim 'we're through'," Haru simply asked.  
  
"You're dumber than I realized," said Kyou. "Let go." He tried prying his wrist from Haru's grip and even scratching, but the other was holding on with two hands now. "Listen, you shit; if you don't let go, I'm going to beat you up harder than I ever did before!" He yelled furiously, fangs sprouting and hissing.  
  
"I can't do that, Kyou," Haru said determinedly.   
  
"Why, you asshole! Don't screw with me or--" He stiffened when he was suddenly embraced firmly. Haru had wrapped his arms around Kyou. He was desperately clinging to the shorter teen. His soothing noises calmed Kyou and he rested his cheek against his.  
  
"Wh-what are you doing, idiot…" stammered Kyou.  
  
"Hugging you." Haru pulled away and smiled lazily. "You're the only person I've been with who I've really loved. You can't go."  
  
"Rin?" Kyou uttered in a whisper.   
  
"She got over our relationship like it was nothing," Haru murmured distantly. "And I realized I didn't have feelings strong enough to want to protect her. She wasn't affected at all, but I can see I hurt you emtionally."  
  
Kyou tried changing the tension and declared, "I'll get over it, too!"   
  
Haru smirked. "I guess you were making a big deal out of nothing earlier?" He chuckled when a blush creeped on Kyou's cheeks. He frowned when Kyou tensed and looked away.   
  
"How can you love me?" Kyou's apprehension surprised him. Haru shrugged and ran his fingers through the redlocks of Kyou's.  
  
"We have more things in common than anybody else I've known."  
  
"That's it?" Kyou asked skeptically and a bit scornful.  
  
"Of course not," Haru defended. "I know there are many people I can fall in love with, but I can't think of being without you for the rest of my sexy life." Kyou scoffed and mumbled 'whatever.'  
  
"I won't be some play thing for you forever, Haru," said Kyou. Even so, he wrapped his arms protectively around the taller boy's neck.   
  
"That's why I'm begging you to stay with me." Haru gazed down at him with half-lidded eyes.  
  
"Damn your bedroom eyes," growled Kyou. "I…love you, too." He leaned in to give Haru a passionate, wet, lustful, desperate, kiss…  
  
Haru turned his head to the side to evade it. "So, you forgive me?"  
  
There was a thoughtful silence.   
  
"You, I forgive," Kyou said, "but your Black side, he's going to have to sleep on the floor until then."  
  
"As long as it makes you happy," Haru kissed his forehead tenderly.   
  
"Damn right! It'll prevent my ass from hurting even more."  
  
"I'll make sure he doesn't spank you every night," he smirked. "I'm here to please."  
  
There was no warning for Kyou when he was thrown onto the bed.   
  
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This is the last chapter I'll write with the words 'I love you' in em! @_@ I had to have self control writing this romance. I wanted Haru to just jump Kyou in the beginning but… yaoi scares people. Poo. 


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